Nordeast Minneapolis, MN - Capn' John is a member of our team. Though not many
have seen him. He's a hard cyclist to catch, but not just because he's fast. He is
simply elusive. He is believed to own really expensive bikes and enjoys racing them in
cold weather over leaves and 16" high planks of wood.
In order to find our teammate we spend weekend after weekend combing the parks an
forests looking for him and his expensive bike. Every time we think we have caught
him it always turns out just to be that damn Sasquatch. If we could only find Capn'
John instead.
We had gotten word from our good friend Bruce at skinnyski.com that John had
surfaced this Saturday near Hamm Lake. Here was the proof:
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Copyright Category 6 Racing Squad unless otherwise noted.
Capn' John: the Carmen Sandiego of Cyclocross
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Foiled Again >
Sargent Sleuth: the eagle eye
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After an all nighter in the lab with my very cute, pale, and platonic scientist formerly
of the TV show Cold Case we deduced that it was indeed Capn' John. His bike is a
little less expensive than we imagined, but it was definitely him. Good thing we had
that cute girl next door type scientist to help us. We never would have known with
an average looking scientist.
We knew he was in the area. There was still only a slim chance that we would find
him, but those odds were better than the alternative (the alternative was to go back
to the Cat 6 lab with blond scientist lady).
We we drove the Cat 6 Oil conserver over to Powderhorn Park. That's were the
computer predicted the next sighting would be. The evidence was all there. There
were the leaves on the ground and the 16" wooden planks sticking up everywhere.
This was the perfect atmosphere for a sighting.
We set up the stake out and we brought out the big guns. Here was our crack team
of detectives.
After an afternoon of searching, we were about ready to give up when we noticed
something in the feed zone. We saw what look to be a figure like Capn' John but
without any of the expensive race bikes. We had to take a closer look....
Milo has an affinity for expensive race bikes
and can sniff tubular glue from 400 yards
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Detective Emily: was very cold
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Our under cover agent, whom we'll call Agent X,
dressed the part and participated in dangerous
activities in an effort to draw out Capn' John.
It seemed to be him standing next the Gortens Fisherman. We had always
assumed he was a vegetarian? We took an even closer look and it was no doubt
the Capn'. Only once again we would not be able to see him flying the race colors,
and triumph over the mere mortals with his fashionable attention to detail and
stunning equipment. It was our once in a lifetime chance to see something like this
and we only got an obstructed view. To all of us it was worth it, except Emily she
was cold.
