C6RS

West Bank, MPLS- On 8:30pm January 28th, 2006 cyclists, drunkards and
mustache enthusiasts converged in Minneapolis for the 3rd Annual "Running of the
Mustaches" aka 'Stache Bash 2k6" aka "Who Wants a Mustache Ride?". The mass
of humanity gathered at Freewheel Bike's parking lot in the drizzling rain. It was
pleasant for a January night but the riders knew that without proper clothing and
warming up, serious injury would be inevitable. The cagey veterans bought out
flasks of various brown colored liquors and passed them around. They knew this
was the only way to loosen and limber the mustaches and prevent follicle
micro-fracture. Once the proper amount of liquor and introductions had been passed
around the crew rode off to the University of Minnesota Campus to make any
unsuspecting students second guess the type of world they were preparing for.
From the University the ride meandered through the Marcy-Holmes and St. Anthony
neighborhoods.

Girl Carl was struck with a triple-puncture without the sufficient tools make the repair.
Fortunately Maia and T3 were there to assist and wound up using duct tape to get
her back on the road.

Soon the group grew anxious. They had been promised alcohol and karaoke so a
stop at Elsies was made. As they entered the crowded bar cried out "Mustaches!"
The sight of the crew added a bit of 'zazz to some fellas homecoming party from
prison or the military and Sov broke every girl in the rooms heart by crooning The
Boss's "Born to Run".

Once everyone was sufficiently lubed up we cut through Boom Island and St.
Anthony Parks. It was nice a solid mix of mud, snow, ice and puddles. This was
certainly the most epic mustache ride ever. Another beer, cigarette and rest stop
way made as we crossed the ped bridge over 35W. Then, it was on to Peacock
Groove's studio space where an unnecessary obstacle course, hot chocolate and
some beer awaited.

The obstacle course was a 4 rider relay out-and-back course. The first rider would
don an official Cat. 6 cape ride to a set of tires, run through them, ride to the next
set, run through, ride to 50-Grit's patented ad-hoc cyclocross barriers, hurdle them
and ride to the beer table to drink a dixie cup in such a way as to give the rider a
foamy mustache. Then it was a full sprint back to the start to exchange the cape with
the next rider. 2 teams would race at a time. Some people went fast, some, fell
down, some had some bike parts broken. Winner? Nobody! No team was able to
beat the qualifying time that the well-drilled Cat. 6 team set in prelims earlier in the
week and no team had brought along their insurance and registration form. Sorry.

The group was fractured after the obstacle course but all reconvened in the back
room of Town Hall Brewery. They were quickly joined by a cutout of Jan Ullrich!!! In
a full C6RS casual kit, no less. Skidsy handed out the Mustache Match worksheets
and everyone looked around for a pen. Everyone quickly got to the drinking at
hand. As soon as everyone was too liquored up to realize the crap they were taking
home Derrick handed out the awards for the evening. A good night for Cat. 6 and
the NAAM (National Association for the Advancement of Mustaches)

Least Effort	Aaron P.
Patches McGee	Peter R.
Best Softball Coach	Chuck
Best "Mom, look what I can grow"	Horkey
Best Frenchman	Brian
Worst Improved	Hurlington
Au Natural/most comfortable	Cheffrey
Best Sov Wannabee	Luby
Most likely to troll a Jr. High	Josh K.
Best Ace and Gary	Dan and Allan
Most likely to be seen at a Rest Stop	Tyler
Best Drill Sargent	Scott B
Best Wooderson	Brett E
Best Magnum	T3
Best Farmer	Adam
Best Tow Truck Driver	Bear
Worst Fake	Mark L
Best Fake	Sloth Evenstone
Best Child Molester/Wilford Brimley	B Rose
Moustache Match Game winner	Sov with 15/17